In astrology, sun signs tell us quite a lot about ourselves, including some of our basic attitudes to love. But for a more personalized analysis of our love style, we need to look at the sign placement of Venus, the planet of personal relationships, in our birth chart. If you don't know your Venus sign, you can find it here!
Our love style is governed by a number of different factors, but can be broadly defined by our individual response to five archetypal patterns of relating. Most of us will conform to a greater or lesser extent to one or more of these relating patterns, which we will explore in the following, depending on our Venus sign.
Romantic or Pragmatic?
Do you have an idealistic view of relationships? Are you constantly hoping to meet your dream lover, and frequently disappointed when he/she turns out to be merely human instead? Or are you more realistic in your expectations of love, with practical considerations playing an equal or greater part compared to romance in the type of partners you choose?
You’re likely to belong to the romantic camp if your Venus falls in one of the Water signs, especially head-in-the-clouds Pisces, or in Libra (the sign most in love with love). On the other hand, Venus in a grounded Earth sign, especially picky Virgo or ambitious Capricorn, makes for the biggest pragmatists.
Flirty or Hard-to-Get?
In terms of how you pursue the object of your desire, are you more likely to take the initiative or would you rather wait for them to make the first move? When someone you’re attracted to starts flirting with you, do you respond openly and enthusiastically, or do you play your cards carefully by not appearing too easily available and creating an air of mystery about yourself?
The flirtiest people often have Venus in one of the super-gregarious Air signs, such as smooth-talking Gemini, or a spontaneous Fire sign, especially Aries, but also Leo or Sagittarius. Venus plays harder to get in the shier and more sensitive Water signs, of which Scorpio is by far the most enigmatic.
Committed or Independent?
Do you prefer to date the same person exclusively or continue to see others at the same time? In love affairs, do you seek early commitment, or try to hold onto your freedom as long as possible before officially becoming an ‘item’? In an established relationship, does staying faithful to your partner pose a problem for you?
Due to their strong need for security, the Fixed signs, Taurus, Leo and Scorpio, tend to be the most pro commitment. In these signs, as well as in Capricorn (usually in for the long haul) and in companionable Libra, Venus reduces the need for personal independence. In freedom loving Gemini, Sagittarius and Aquarius, however, it’s more likely to create itchy feet.
Controlling or Submissive?
Do you feel more comfortable when you’re the one pulling the strings in a relationship, or are you happier sitting back and letting your partner make most of the decisions? Do you habitually manipulate situations to ensure you get your own way? Alternatively, are you someone who gives in a little too easily and often finds yourself saying ‘yes’ when you really mean ‘no’?
The most controlling Venus signs are the Zodiac’s natural leaders (Aries and Leo) and power brokers (Scorpio). More submissive Venuses tend to lack confidence, be prone to indecisiveness and/or have a strong desire to please (especially Libra and Pisces, but also sometimes Cancer and Virgo).
Jealous or Detached?
Do you keep careful tabs on your partner’s whereabouts and/or regularly check their phone messages and emails? Do you suffer pangs of torment if you catch your lover showing interest in somebody else? Or are you so laid back, allowing and unpossessive, your partner sometimes questions if you love them at all.
Venus signs that seek security and commitment, like Taurus, Leo and Scorpio, are the most likely to have jealous tendencies. Also Venus in Pisces, due to its unrealistic expectations in love. Independent Venus signs such as Gemini, Aquarius and Sagittarius tend to be the most detached, while pragmatic signs like Virgo and Capricorn are normally too realistic to freak out over a partner’s minor infidelities.
Venus Signs and Their Predominant Love Styles
Venus in Aries: flirty; independent; controlling.
Venus in Taurus: pragmatic, committed; jealous.
Venus in Gemini: flirty; independent; detached.
Venus in Cancer: romantic; hard-to-get; submissive.
Venus in Leo: flirty; committed; controlling; jealous.
Venus in Virgo: pragmatic; submissive; detached.
Venus in Libra: romantic; flirty; committed; submissive.
Venus in Scorpio: hard-to-get; committed; controlling; jealous
Venus in Sagittarius: flirty; independent; detached.
Venus in Capricorn: pragmatic; committed; detached.
Venus in Aquarius: flirty; independent; detached.
Venus in Pisces: romantic; submissive; jealous.
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