Ever since the movie of the same name, we’re all familiar with the potentially devastating consequences of a ‘fatal attraction’. Fortunately, few people will have to deal with the horrors of that sort of extreme psycho-obsessive love.

 

But on a more prosaic level, many of us know what it’s like to be involved in a compulsive love affair where our feelings for someone are so intense, they seem to take us over, and the attraction we experience is so all-consuming there’s nothing we can do to resist it.

Dangerous Liaisons
 
Although, on a subconscious level, we may realize we’re getting ourselves into dangerously deep waters, we may feel we have no choice but to go with the flow – no matter where it ends. In fact there’s often a sense that fate has had a hand in bringing about the liaison or that in some way it was ‘meant to be’.

 

Unusually powerful love affairs of this kind are generally associated with Pluto, the planet of emotional extremes. So their main problem is that the feelings of ecstasy we tend to experience at the outset can just as easily turn to deep despair as love slowly transforms itself into hate.

When Love Turns to Hate

How is it possible to suddenly start loathing the very person you once worshipped and adored? Well actually quite easily when Pluto is a major factor in the relationship – and it’s all down to fear.

When our love for someone is too obsessive and our attachment to them is too strong, we’re incredibly vulnerable to losing them and that can feel very scary. The huge sense of insecurity we have to cope with in such situations – and the accompanying need to maintain control – can lead in turn to all kinds of destructive behavior patterns which eventually tear the relationship apart.


The Bully/Victim Scenario

Even the most easygoing of people can suddenly find they’re turning into a bit of a control freak in the attempt to hold onto the partner they’re so afraid to lose. Jealousy, too, can be a serious problem, whether or not there is cause for distrust – and in the event of actual betrayal, the desire for revenge can be overwhelming.

We’re now faced with two typical relationship scenarios both associated with the influence of Pluto. If our lover is easily pushed around, a classic bully/victim situation can develop. Alternatively, if they’re more assertive, the scene is set for a nasty power struggle.


Something Has to Die!

Either way, it’s not a pretty picture, which is why – if we find ourselves involved in a compulsive relationship – sooner or later we have to let go. And unless we find the strength to do so of our own volition, we’ll have no choice when our partner finally tires of our possessiveness and walks out for good. 

The inevitable outcome of any kind of ‘fatal attraction’ is that something has to die. Not – as in the movie – a human being of course, but the emotional attachment that has gotten out of hand and, most likely, the relationship in its current form. 

We all know that moment of sudden clarity when, looking back on a stressful love affair, we say ‘oh, so that was what it was all about’. Then, although it may have been sheer hell at the time, we often see how it has made us stronger and wiser. And maybe – by one means or another – we’ve learned a bit more about the true meaning of love.